Red Eyes

There's two coffee shops on Biola's campus ---

Common Grounds & The Talon

If you were on campus randomly, you'd most likely see me at The Talon because they know how to make coffee better and I'm no advocate of weak coffee. Today was different. My friends invited me to Common Grounds and so I said yes and made my way down there. While walking, I was contemplating what on earth I would order at a place that has the word "common" in their name --- a sure sign of the quality of their coffee, I thought. Nevertheless, I continued walking and met up with the friends I mentioned earlier.

I have always known in the back of my mind that there is a drink made up of espresso and coffee, but for some reason I have never gotten it. Today was the day to change that. I saw it on the menu as "Red Eye" and somehow I knew that it was the drink I was thinking of.

"So is the 'Red Eye' espresso with coffee on top?" I asked the barista.
"Yep!" she said with a smile.
"I don't know how I knew that with your code name for it and all," I said with a smirk. "but I guess I was right. I'll have that."

And so it was. Even after a distasteful first encounter with Common Grounds coffee, I had officially ordered my second drink. After I waited 5 minutes, I decided to ask if the drink was ready. I realized the irony of my words after I got my drink.

"Did I miss the red eye or are you guys still making it?"
"Yep, here it is. It was ready a couple minutes ago."
She handed me the drink and I took it.
"Thanks so much," I said.

When I tasted the drink, I was taken aback. "Wow..." I took another sip. "WOW."

The Red Eye had won me over and I had let it do so. It might've just been the nature of the drink and that any drink with espresso plus coffee is going to be good. But something happened this afternoon - something special that moved my soul and changed my attitude about Common Grounds. Maybe my newfound love for Common Grounds will only go as far as the Red Eye or a doppio espresso, but I may end up enjoying something more. Everyday is a new opportunity for coffee to tug at you in a different way and today I experienced the tug of the Red Eye. Tomorrow is different --- tomorrow is the unknown tug.

When You're Too Tired To Write One Sentence

It was after staying up all night to write an essay that I had to go to a 3-hour class in the morning. It was 10:30 AM and I could barely keep my eyes open. Everything within me wanted to close them and dream of happy lands. I tried my hardest to write at least one sentence without closing my eyes, but even when I fought the sleep, my heavy eyes still won. Every time. The page below contains my honest attempts to write what was going on in the class discussion. Click on the picture to get a closer look at my hilarious nonsense:



Hope you enjoyed looking at my jibberish---Make sure to get some sleep so you can keep your eyes open long enough to do what you love well.

running and waking

i discovered the value of exercise in contrast to academic work last night. yesterday, after spending a good 14 hours studying, reading and writing, it only made sense to me to go take a run and get all that was welled up within me out of my system. it was 12:30am at the time, but i needed to do it. so i got into some running clothes and headed to the track at our school. it was nice and cold outside. i ran more than i thought i would and it felt great --- all that intake of information and all that sitting was released as i ran. being out there alone on the dark track calmed me and settled my mind.

that night, i slept very well and this morning i woke up with a clear state of mind. i can't study forever. my body needs that balance of the mental and the physical.

Going Home

When my alarm clock went off I was in the middle of a dream. An enjoyable dream as I remember. I got out of my bed and turned off the alarm. It was cold outside of my blanket. I looked around the room for the things I needed and brewed some coffee while doing so. The quiet morning combined with the slow mumbling and crackling of the coffee maker soothed my mind and focused it for the day ahead.

Just as a bluish, dim light was peeking through the window, I had found all of the things I needed. Once I had gathered them into my backpack, I started on a long walk towards my car with a fresh cup of coffee in my hand. It was a blue morning; a brisk morning compared to the mornings before this one. There was a heavy fog and a soft bite to the air like a child who bites his sibling’s finger - it doesn’t sting, but you can sure feel it. It’s still a bite.

Suddenly I was feeling heavy – like all the fog that surrounded me. The weight of my backpack and the dense morning might have contributed to this feeling, but I think it was more of where I was headed.

I was going home that day, and I hadn’t been home in a long time.

I started the car. Exhaust immediately shot out to join the fog that was already there. The best kind of fog is the kind where you can’t see even 15 feet in front of you. This was the kind of fog there was. A fog so dense that it creates an uncertainty and uneasiness in people. I made a left and entered onto the 5 Freeway. A mad place, the freeway is. I wondered where everyone was going and where I would end up if I followed the blue car in front of me. I wondered how many people actually wanted to go where they were going, or if they were just stuck working a job they despised or running an errand they thought was mundane. By this time in the drive, the coffee had filled the whole car with its aroma and was blending with the music I was listening to, creating a multisensory experience. The morning was still waking up. The fog hadn’t lifted yet.

I was going home for the day.

Home took on a new meaning sometime between leaving for college and now. For me, it’s a place of refuge, safety and relaxation. Memories of childhood are in the air and laughter is painted on the walls. But really, I don’t really know what it is at the core – what makes a home a home or what creates the feeling of being home. Maybe it’s the people in it or the things a home provides for our souls – a place where you can take off all the thick layers of disguises and get rid of all the masks and sit there in the living room and just be, perhaps more so than anywhere else. When I walk through the front door I feel a release of whatever tension had come upon me from the outside world. The home provides a motherly comfort that so many people never experience because they don’t have a place to call home.

The car seemed to pull itself off at the right freeway exit. I didn’t need to think about it. I knew where home was. It felt like Fall that day more than any day before. As I was driving on the quiet neighborhood streets, hearing the toss and turn of the wind and the creaking of the trees, it wasn’t the changing color of the leaves that made it feel like Fall, but the fact that I was going home that brought the season fully to life. I was driving. It was Fall. I was finally home.

Morning

I woke up this morning with this quote in my mind:

It is enough to be, in an ordinary human mode, with one's hunger and sleep, one's cold and warmth, rising and going to bed. Putting on blankets and taking them off, making coffee and then drinking it. Defrosting the refrigerator, reading, meditating, working, praying. I live as my ancestors have lived on this earth, until eventually I die. Amen. There is no need to make an assertion of my life, especially about it as mine, though doubtless it is not somebody else's. I must learn gradually to forget program and artifice.

-Thomas Merton

Preproduction in the studio - Day 2!

John Wesley's "Rules for Methodist Singers"

In church yesterday morning, I picked up the hymnal as we were about to sing. When I opened the book, there was a sticker on the first page that read as follows:

John Wesley's "Rules for Methodist Singers"
1. Learn the tunes.
2. Sing them as printed.
3. Sing all verses. If it is a cross to you, take it up and you will find it a blessing.
4. Sing heartily and with a good courage.
5. Sing modestly, do not bawl.
6. Sing in time. Do not run before or stay behind.
7. Above all, sing spiritually. Have an eye to God in every word you sing. Aim at pleasing Him more than yourself or any other creature.

And there you have it! Fear no more! Go out and sing those hymns!

-Carson

John Wesley's "Rules for Methodist Singers"

Brothers at Sea - Preproduction for the new EP

The gears are turning once again. A new album is in process for the band I'm in, Brothers at Sea. Here's some recent photos and a video from preproduction for the new CD in LA at Zen Seven Studios. The songs are coming along nicely and we're excited to release them! We're looking forward to a couple more of these preproduction days this weekend and then we start recording the CD.

Follow along with the process here.

Carson

Weird Dreams and Cold Feet

I woke up with a start this morning from a dream in which I got severely sunburned while Shakira's "She Wolf" was playing in the background. I know, dreams are weird sometimes. My eyes opened and surveyed the white ceiling above me. Hm - it was a dream, I thought to myself. I turned off my alarm clock quite violently, as it was playing rap songs that I didn't want to start out my day with. Why would I want the lyrics "I got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night, that tonight's gonna be a good night" to be circling around in my head when I haven't even experienced the morning? Anyway, I wasn't into it. I climbed carefully down from my loft onto the cold carpet floor. My soft feet we're tingling from having to support my body once again. Ah, the feeling of being alive, of getting another day to live well, of being granted a new start and another opportunity. Live today, enjoy today, savor today.

Feels Like Home

College has been quite a change from high school. The last few weeks have been full of start-up things like filling out forms, getting a job and getting situated in my dorm. You know, all the initial processes you have to do as a first semester freshman. I've been meeting new people everyday - probably too many! There's been meetings for the worship team, running to classes, walking to classes, making coffee and then drinking it and so on. Kind of overwhelming for the first few days but after i dropped a class, refined my schedule and stopped trying to do everything by my own strength, life was good.

Time management is essential.

There's been some days where nothing was going on and I knew I had homework to do but didn't take the time to schedule it all out. I ended up doing random things until the clock read 1am and I found myself tired and in bed with none of the things done that I set out to do. So - get a planner! Oh, and then use it well! I would recommend Little Otsu Planners which my sister, Shannon also loves.

The way that universities work is so intriguing. People from all over the world choose a certain school and are then collected onto a campus where relationships are built. Everyone is from different cultures with differing worldviews and their opinions and experiences are valuable to learn from. There's a dorm right next to mine in which two guys live. One's from New Jersey and the other from South Korea. They are both great guys that I have been talking to and learning from. What a unique opportunity it is to be surrounded by people that come from all sorts of places. Why not start conversations and become a person that lives better by listening to others' stories? Ah, it's just a wonderful place to be.

It's a quiet day on campus today. September has been quietly announcing herself with clouds throughout the week. People have shuffled back from their weekends at home and I've been steadily working in my dorm since seven this morning, writing essays and reading books. My coffee is in a beige ceramic mug to my right, creating an aroma in the room that's quite enjoyable. I love the kind of Peet's Coffee Shannon recommended for me for my green french press! It's Espresso Forte and I have it almost every morning.

It feels like a home in here, but I always know where my real home is. In his opening address, the president of Biola, Barry Corey, talked about how the stones of the Israelites in the Old Testament represented their ever-moving home. At the end of the night, we each received three clear stones for ourselves as we started off the year to remind us that this is our home for the time being. I've got those three little clear stones on the top right corner of my desk, next to my printer and speakers. This room is my home this year. That's what they represent. When I go back to the house I grew up in, that will be my home for the summer. And then I'll come back. It's a nomadic life, these years. I miss my home sometimes, yes, but I know that for the time being, God has me at this one for a reason.

Have a marvelous day at home or wherever you are today. Here's a picture of some friends of mine before we went to go water balloon people. A great night, indeed!